They also have secrets. Not deep, dark secrets (well, actually I’m sure they have those too) but cheerful secrets. The kind of secrets that make you go, “No way! That’s awesome!”
Did you know that you used to be able to take pieces of the rides home with you? Yes. Every ride in the children’s section of the park had a piece you can snatch right of the ride, stick in your pocket, and take home to admire with all your other dorky friends. In the Snow White ride you could take the apple right out of the witches hand (you’ve got to get there early cuz that’s always the first one to go – the witch is usually just standing there holding out a hand with nothing in it). In the Alice in Wonderland ride you could take the king’s heart scepter and the White Rabbit’s glasses. In the Pinocchio ride you could take his bowtie. The list goes on and on. You can’t do it anymore or you’ll get in trouble but that hardly matters as I have every one of those items in a drawer right now. Every. One.
Turns out they are plastic or Styrofoam spray painted neon orange so they glow in the black lights. Much less impressive in the light of day which just proves that fantasy is almost always better than reality.
The Jungle Cruise is also pretty great. Most people write it off. It’s one of Disneyland’s oldest and cheesiest rides but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth standing in the 10 minute line and climbing aboard. What makes this ride special is not the cheap animatronic rhinos, lions, and tribesmen. Oh, no. What makes this ride one of the best in the park is the Jungle Cruise Boat Driver Guys (official title). They tell jokes. Jokes! Some are terrible, some are hilarious, and some I’ve heard literally a dozen times. We have a funny-based point system set up for these guys. One point for each funny joke, no points for too cheesy jokes (I didn’t say it was a complicated point system).
The best joke I’ve heard in awhile: “Did you wake up this morning and think, ‘I’m gonna go on a jungle cruise today'? Me too. Did you cry for like a half an hour afterwards?”
Classic Jungle Cruise Boat Driver Guy.
But, by far (actually not by far cuz Indianna Jones is pretty kick-ass), my favorite ride is Pirates of the Caribbean. It’s nothing special really. You just sit in a boat that slow drifts by. You watch animatronics that are almost as bad as the rhinos, lions, and tribesmen over at the Jungle Cruise. But what’s great is how absolutely crazy it all is. I imagine this ride would be really similar to a dream one might have while tripping on some kind of drug. There are drunk people everywhere (My favorite pirate is the really drunk one who says, “Here kiddy, kiiiddy, kiiiiiiddy. Ye be a fiesty one!”), people shooting each other (and always missing), piles of gold, women for sale, skeletons, Johnny Depp, and an old man sitting on a rocking chair smoking a pipe while a banjo plays ominously in the background. I’m also a little paranoid each time that one of those cannon balls is gonna finally hit our boat and sink us in that three feet of water. Imagine the chaos.
Each person has their own version of Disneyland. Things they do every time they go. Places they always eat (Bengal Barbecue! Try the Tiger Tails!). Some people like to skip the parade and fireworks to go on Space Mountain while all the other suckers are singing along with Mickey and trying to look up Tarzan’s loincloth. Who does that? *grin*
And California Adventure serves margaritas soooooo…
All in all, I’m a fan. The thought of Walt Disney’s head being cryogenically frozen creeps me out but if it’s true I’d totally close my eyes, hold my breath, and kiss the guy for being so full of imagination and sunshine. Hopefully my lips don’t get frozen to his face cuz that’s a nightmare I won’t be able to shake.
Oh, and look:
That's the real deal, people
-Age
Have fun!! And I love DisneyWorld (never been to Land) and have nothing but great things to say about it. Don't know how anyone could have a negative experience. :)
ReplyDeleteI've only been to Disneyland once but now I absolutely must go again. I've heard there are secrets, but never in such detail! How awesome and fun! Leave it to Disney to be so magical.
ReplyDeleteI've never been to Disneyland but I've been to my fair share of Disney World experiences. I haven't been since I was 8 or 9 and I so want to go again SOON! Especially after this post!!
ReplyDeleteI hear Disney World is pretty awesome too and I'd love to go but I'll always have a soft spot for D-Land. It's just a magical place. BTW, I had so much fun!!! Good memories.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got to go one last time. This post just brought so many happy memories to mind. It's definitely the happiest place on earth, I love it! SO cool to hear that you could take home pieces of the rides, that's CRAZY! I totally feel you on everything. Jungle Cruise can be awesome or awful (or just plain awkward if the dude hits on you :/ ) I love Indiana Jones despite my massive snake phobia. I too love Pirates for the nostalgia and ambiance. My favorites are California Screamin' and Space Mountain but I do love some singing in the parades, hehe. :) Thanks for reminding me of all the fun memories.
ReplyDeleteYou know what I thought the day AFTER you left? That I should've asked if I could 'borrow' your Disneyland Pass. I would've had a fake ID made so I could use it. I'm not sure if I could've pulled it off, but I'm willing to go to Disneyland jail to find out. Besides, what's the worse they can do to you? Revoke your pass and not allow you in the park for the rest of the year? Too late!
ReplyDeleteAh, Cat. I gave it to Mary. Sorry. Honestly though, really? You're Philipino and have dark hair and I'm white and have blond hair. You really think they would have let you in? Though, now that you mention it, Disneyland jail might actually be pretty awesome. All the bad guys will be in there and you can smoke with Captain Hook and play bride with Cruella DeVille. Sounds pretty great. Love ya. Miss ya.
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