Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Snow? Of Course I Can Handle It, I'm a Total Pro. A Snow Pro, If You Will.

Last year around this time I wrote a post about my first snowfall and it's pretty darn charming if I do say so myself. Here it is for those of you who like charming things and simply cannot get enough of my particular charm:

Black Eye? Welcome to Your First Winter Wonderland, Miss Hadaway.

This year, my first real snow of the season was considerably less dramatic though still a mix of enchantment and dread as snow is still friggin' cold and yet mysteriously beautiful. All of yesterday, when I was in class teaching, I watched through the window as the snow fell sideways, covering only one side of the trees and shrubbery with white fluff, the rest melting as soon as it hit the asphalt. I know it won't be long before it sticks, piling up everywhere and creating those tricky ice-patches that I mastered last year but only after about a dozen episodes of sliding around, waving my arms in giant circles to keep from falling. The trick is concentric, forward circles and bent knees, people. Bent knees - I seriously can't emphasize that enough.

My "trouble class" that I bonded with last year over sledding and snowballs is still the same bunch of диваци (savages) they were last year though worse because, well, they're in eighth grade now - the year when 13-year-old a-holes become 14-year-old a-holes in the full throws of puberty; adolescent angst; and rebellious, we-hate-all-authority attitudes that make them just so lovely. So flippin' sweet I could just throw them out the window by their hair and smile at the following *thud*. I'm kidding, of course. They are charming as ever - I just love it when they write different words for penis on the board in Bulgarian with an accompanying graphic. They are getting really good at dry-erase marker art - it's almost lifelike.

This year I have firewood for my stove-like thing that is electric on one side for cooking and old-fashioned, wood-burning stove on the other for keeping warm in inclement weather. I chop kindling with a horror-movie axe and start the fire myself and all that cool, Peace Corps stuff and I even sometimes pretend I'm not in Europe - no, I'm somewhere truly exotic and foreign like...Kansas. It's fun. Though, with fire, there is no temperature gauge. No way to say, "Phew, it's getting a little toasty in here, I think I'll turn down the heat." Nope, it's just always the temperature of, well, fire. And since it's far more comfortable to have a fire and open the window than it is to forgo one and bundle, I just go ahead and walk around in my underwear during the summer and winter months - one of the few advantages to living alone.

It's also that time of year when everyone asks me if I have a man for the winter. In the summer, men are optional and going out to coffee with a different one every night is considered frivolous, appropriate fun. But, in winter, a steady man to keep you warm is a necessity. I imagine, in Bulgaria, the majority of engagements and serious relationships start in January and February. However, I simply tell them I have a boyfriend in a far away land and that he's probably coming to visit soon so no one should worry - I also have a lot of blankets and super warm pajama's so, I'll survive. A winter-мъж is low on my list of priorities (not that I have one of those) though I think revisiting the world of, "Oh, my grandson is about your age and he's very handsome..." is inevitable - at least until мартеници are back on our wrists and the storks are rebuilding those nests.

Well, Christmas is upon us and I could really use the two revitalizing weeks of vacation that are coming to us hard-working volunteers. I plan on going to the super fancy ski resort near my village for New Year's fun so, hopefully, I'll have stories and pictures to come. Until then...


Me and my favorite group of sisters - Kamelia, Gergana, and Anelia. (And, no, I have no idea what Anelia's looking at. And, yes, the Pikachu on Kamelia's shirt is awesome though, when I pointed it out to her, she didn't seem as excited.)

-Age

Monday, December 5, 2011

Sweet vs. Creepy

Sweet vs. Creepy - Round 1:

Sweet:

When an adorable 6th grader says hi every morning with an eyebrow-raise or a wink.

Creepy:

When your fifth grade student talks about your ass with another student in a language he thinks you can't understand.

Sweet:

When your lady next-door neighbor gives you some homemade pasta sauce and veggies.

Creepy:

When your dude next-door neighbor looks you up and down then gives you a thumbs up before hiking up his pants that are already too high.

Sweet:

When the girls from your volleyball team tag you in a photo on fb with lots of hearts and smiles in the caption.

Creepy:

When the boys from your eighth grade class tag you in a photo on fb you were not aware was being taken and comment with, "Oh, le le!"

Sweet:

When a nice guy offers you a ride to the next village so you don't have to wait for the bus when it's cold outside.

Creepy:

When a car full of not-so-nice guys slows down while you're waiting for the bus to stare at your weird winter outfit that may or may not consist of several articles made out of various colored yarns.

Sweet:

When a student gives you a high five after they do well on a test and thanks you for the help.

Creepy:

When a boy-student gives a girl-student a slap on the ass and tells them thanks for walking by.

Sweet:

When you run into another volunteer.

Creepy:

When you run into the baba from a couple towns over who yelled at you the last time you saw her for not giving her 20 leva cuz clearly you are Russian and wealthy though stingy, which is why you're pretty sure she put a curse on you.

Sweet:

Colleagues wishing you a "Happy (insert American holiday here)!"

Creepy:

Colleagues telling you to watch out for the bus driver. "Just say no to coffee. Always."

Sweet:

When nice people on a train or bus give up their seat so you can rest.

Creepy:

When someone on a train or bus moves seats in order to stare at you more conveniently as neck strain is a real issue.

That's all for now but trust me when I say I am nowhere near done with this particular topic. Also, this is a list just as easily created for Americans - PC volunteers even. Creepy is everywhere.

-Age

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Marriage or No Marriage, "We" Kill Turkeys, and I Dream About Potato Chips

Alright. Here's what I've been up to:

  • Some volunteer friends and I had thanksgiving dinner this past Saturday. We went to a village outside of the city to an old baba's (grandmother's) house with a backyard full of turkeys for sell. A boy-volunteer familiar with poultry, killed the turkey with an ancient-looking axe and left the baba's house covered in its blood though, somehow, with a smile on his face. I took a video of it which is on my fb page if you're interested in seeing the process (it's not pretty but definitely entertaining). We cooked so much food and managed to finish it all - it was amazing, delicious, and a really great time. We often joke about the "post-fun depression" we get after times like this when we have to go back to work.
  • I had a dream about potato chips.

  • I swear I saw one of my cats get hit by a car and then he showed up for dinner a few hours later. 9 lives are no joke, people. (that cat seems to always be on the brink of death - it's his most charming feature. "Oh, kitty, are you dying? That's so cute. Could you please go die outside? Thanks, hun.")

  • The restaurant in my village now delivers pizza. I have to spend at least 8.00 leva so I'll only be doing it when I have gosti (company) but still - DELIVERY! and PIZZA!

  • I've been spending time with two of my Roma students after school and I think I want to adopt them both and take them home with me to America. They are boys in the 5th grade, cousins, and they couldn't be cuter or sweeter or funnier. I will leave this experience with so much personal growth and change as well as ideas for the future but one of the BIGGEST ones will be my new-found desire to adopt a Roma child from Bulgaria. I'm going to do it. Which, if you really think about it, is pretty exciting. Marriage or no marriage, I'm gonna be a mom one day. That's pretty awesome. (My mom may have just freaked out at my "marriage or no marriage" sentence - sorry I 'm so weird, Mamo!)

  • We have three more weeks of school until Christmas break - two weeks of having fun all over Bulgaria - I'm very excited.

  • We have 7 more months in Bulgaria. Time is FLYING!

  • I took the GRE and did pretty well (the math wasn't as terrible as I expected and I rocked the English - rocked it) which was absolutely necessary since my GPA from undergrad is mediocre at best. I'm hoping my scores, combined with PC prestige, will get me into my dream school in New York. If not, my second choice is in Seattle where I already know a ton of people and will be just as happy. The future is looking pretty exciting. I was debating a Creative Writing masters program in Georgia but I chickened out - I love writing too much to find out I'm not very good at it - I think I'll keep it as a hobby. Applications are due this month and I've really got a lot of work ahead of me so keep me in your prayers - I'd like to be used by God and be a part of great things.

  • I tried to learn the dance from a Beyonce video at night alone in my apartment and made myself dizzy and had to lie down.

  • I dog-sat for a friend for a few days and wanted to kill him or myself. I'm not a pet person. Animals are for outside and for eating, not for inside or for touching. If I'm going to have someone jump up and down with excitement every time I come home, I'd rather it be a man. And even then I could do without the jumping part. It'd also be nice if he were charming, funny, and holding a bowl of ice cream. Coffee flavored. I would man-sit for a friend every day if that were the case. Maybe every other day - ice cream is fattening.

  • I will, for the rest of my life, love and adore washing machines and dryers. To an un-natural level. I will probably name mine when I get back to the states and bring them up in conversations at bars as if they're real people. "Oh, Carlisle did the funniest thing the other day - I set him to "extra rinse" and he leaked all over the floor! Daisy and I thought it was so funny. They really are the coolest - there's nothing I wouldn't do to keep them functioning for the next 3 to 5 years. Nothing."

  • One of my students wrote this:
    • "My pizza is said "Dean". It is composed of tomatoes, meat, milk, chicken and put a little garlic to taste, and has very nice sauce. Gift giving chocolate milk. WHO WANTS to come and eat of the good pizza ;)"
That's all.


-Age