Holla Atcha Ladies!

I absolutely love the women I used to work with back in the States. I may have loved them beyond what is reasonable. I worked at a day care, a day care run by the City of Grand Terrace so the emphasis was not on profits and weekly rates but on graham crackers and sippy cups. I had three bosses and one mentor/counterpart. All amazing women for different reasons and all close friends. I miss them tremendously and know that I’ll probably never work for another business that had that kind of care and work ethic put forth by management. Unless of course I create that sort of work environment myself one day. Hmmmm, food for thought.

Anyway, I thought I’d dedicate this post to them because I currently miss their structure, support, and “above and beyond” attitude so vehemently that I would gladly be paid in, not money, but smiles and baby-kisses for the rest of my life in order to enjoy my work as much as I did with these women. The only thing it lacked for me was a significant enough challenge (unless you count dealing with the crazy parents on a daily basis). Oh, and men. Thirty-five women and no men? Come on. So, apparently they weren’t perfect but I’m willing to forgive sexism when it leans in the favor of my particular gender.

I’m going to dedicate the following conversation to them to honor their awesomeness. This conversation took place in my head with an imaginary person I’m going to name Wanda. This is awkward and strange and may not be suited for all audiences but I’m sure The Ladies expect nothing less. Readers, be advised:

Me: I love the ladies from the day care. They were so great.

Wanda: Really? You loved them? That seems like a strong emotion to feel for a colleague.

Me: They weren’t colleagues. They were my friends. And I did love them. In fact, if I could be a lesbian and marry an entire group of people, I would marry them. Collectively. The marriage certificate would say “Adrienne and The Ladies.”

Wanda: That’s weird.

Me: You're right, I’d probably have to move to Utah to be able to accomplish something like that and then I’d probably have to find some liberal, progressive branch of Mormonism and convert.

Wanda: That's not what I meant when I said that's weird and...what the hell are you talking about?

Me: You know, they’d be progressive and allow lesbians to marry but they’d also keep it old-school and still let people have multiple wives. It’s like the Old Testament meets the 21^st century and it all culminates in me being able to hypothetically marry an entire group of my friends in order to express how much I love them. Get it?

Wanda: What? Is? Wrong? With? You?

Me: You don’t get it. It’s just a metaphor. I would marry peanut butter if I could. That’s how much I love peanut butter. But I love The Ladies even more than I love peanut butter. Hello? Metaphors? Pick up a book or something, Wanda. Jeez.

And scene.

I feel like that accurately expresses my feelings and sufficiently reminds all who may have forgotten that I’m kinda weird. But you still love me, don’t you? How could you not love something so twisted and endearing?

Keep up the good work ladies and know that I miss you tremendously. Also, Utah, think about it!

-Age