Tell Me You Love Me

So, when I started this blog I wrote with the expectation that no one would ever read it. I was interested in writing as a career and my friends suggested I started a blog to get my writing out there. I didn’t even know what a blog was.

I was reading Freshness Factor Five Thousand for years without even realizing it was a blog.

When I started this blog, I wrote article-like posts about positive and influential people I knew because I wanted to write human interest pieces for newspapers, magazines, or websites as a profession. The posts were heartfelt and, well, boring. But I didn’t care. My writing was out there and I genuinely enjoyed it.

Then the comments came.

It was only a few at first. I would sneak in a funny post about my life just for fun and people would leave comments. I instantly fell in love with this. Not only did it prove that some people, very few, were actually reading this, but they had opinions about it!

That may have been my downfall.

Downfall is the wrong word. I actually love writing fun topics about life and adventure. I don’t plan to stop. However, I’m no longer unaffected by feedback. I need it.

But my followers list is still pretty low and I don’t get a ton of comments. Though, I’d argue that my comments are better than anyone else’s. Yup.

So, it was really just perfect timing when I read this post from one of my favorite bloggers, Hipstercrite:

Twelve Ways to Boost Your Blog Traffic (Without Having to Get Naked)

Ironically, #12 was all about getting naked. Posting a picture of your butt which is something she does often which, as readers, we appreciate. A fun butt picture is sometimes exactly what I need after a long day.

All jokes aside, I think her steps are really helpful and I plan on implementing many of them. But before I do…

Here’s a picture of my butt:

Your welcome.

Post-posting edit: So, seriously, that is not my butt. I googled "booty shorts" and this was the first picture. If you were to google booty shorts right now (which you might want to wait to do until you get home from work and when your girlfriend/wife is not around) you could get over a million search results and not a one of those pictures would be of me. Promise. Though this lady has a lovely butt and should in no way be ashamed to come up first on google images.

-Age

Winky Face

I don’t want to be one of those girls that complains about how fat I think I am so people will say:

“OMG, Adrienne, you are not fat.”

Cuz, while I’m far from skinny, I can do the “10 second stare” in the bathroom mirror right before I hop in the shower (this isn’t a ritual or anything – I just read somewhere, Cosmo probably, that a confident woman should be able to do this without crying or throwing up).

Despite this, I feel like I’m skinnier through technology. Just like when someone’s IQ goes up by dyeing their hair brown, I get thinner through text message, Facebook, blog comments, etc. I just type away like a size 2.

I could text message in skinny jeans. Update my status in one of those long hippy dresses without it looking like my grandmother’s muumuu (my grandmother doesn’t actually wear muumuus, she prefers t-shirts with cats or puppies on them as some grandmother’s do – but you get the visual). I could comment while lying on my stomach at the beach in a bikini and not once think about what my butt looks like in such unforgiving lighting.

I think I want to have a t-shirt made that says:

“I text like a skinny person”

or

“Does having over 100 friends make my facebook look fat?”

Or

“Just the salad, please. I’m a blogger.”

I’m not skinny in all media’s, however. Over the phone I’m that creepy guy that walks his tiny dog at midnight in a grey sweats and a hot pink beanie. Over email I’m prudish and don’t even get me started about faxing!

Don’t hate me cuz my butt looks good in these tweets.

Pic borrowed without asking from here

-Age