“OMG, Adrienne, you are not fat.”
Cuz, while I’m far from skinny, I can do the “10 second stare” in the bathroom mirror right before I hop in the shower (this isn’t a ritual or anything – I just read somewhere, Cosmo probably, that a confident woman should be able to do this without crying or throwing up).
Despite this, I feel like I’m skinnier through technology. Just like when someone’s IQ goes up by dyeing their hair brown, I get thinner through text message, Facebook, blog comments, etc. I just type away like a size 2.
I could text message in skinny jeans. Update my status in one of those long hippy dresses without it looking like my grandmother’s muumuu (my grandmother doesn’t actually wear muumuus, she prefers t-shirts with cats or puppies on them as some grandmother’s do – but you get the visual). I could comment while lying on my stomach at the beach in a bikini and not once think about what my butt looks like in such unforgiving lighting.
I think I want to have a t-shirt made that says:
“I text like a skinny person”
or
“Does having over 100 friends make my facebook look fat?”
Or
“Just the salad, please. I’m a blogger.”
I’m not skinny in all media’s, however. Over the phone I’m that creepy guy that walks his tiny dog at midnight in a grey sweats and a hot pink beanie. Over email I’m prudish and don’t even get me started about faxing!
Don’t hate me cuz my butt looks good in these tweets.
Pic borrowed without asking from here
-Age
