Stupid Mafia Bitch Geese

So, I may have mentioned this in a previous post but these

are the Bitch Geese. They run the small farming village I've been living in these past 2 months. They're the animal version of the mafia. They patrol in groups, clearing out entire street because people are afraid to walk past them and instead take a long, alternate routes in order to avoid them. And by people I mean me and my satellite group.

If you get too close they'll perk their little heads up and eyeball the crap out of you until you either back down or shamelessly run by really fast. If you don't escape in time, they will chase you, heads forward, wings flapping, honking the way only geese can and you have no choice but to half-scream, half-laugh at the ridiculous situation you're in. Stupid Mafia Bitch Geese.

If I weren't such a chicken, I'd punch one right in the face. Or, come to think of it, bitch-slapping may be more appropriate. But instead I do this:

Pictures borrowed from my favorite Bloggess

I figure, if this was The Godfather, there would be some competing mafia gang for me to seek assistance. That would probably have to be the packs of wild dogs that wander around debating whether they want to be ferocious or skiddish on a minute-to-minute basis. The thing is, I doubt even they would be willing to take on The Mafia Bitch Geese. They're simply too formidable. They control the monopoly on meandering (or waddling, if you will) down dirt roads and pecking at the ground which really isn't fair. Not that I mind the pecking but I do use those dirt roads on a daily basis. Stupid Mafia Bitch Geese.

It seems as though we Americans are the only one's who are afraid of them. It's a little embarrasing to stop dead in my tracks when I see these little, white beasts in the distance, catch my breath, and debate whether I have time to take a different road or check my bag for some type of weapon. Like an umbrella.

The trick, per locals, seems to be to simply walk by as if you don't care that the Bitch Geese are eyeballing you. I've tried this. But they seems to know I'm faking it. I think they can smell fear. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm sweating and keep looking at them form the corner of my eye. Plus, one flinch, even a small one, and you're done for. The Alpha Bitch Goose comes charging and I just run away screaming like a crazy person. Sigh. Stupid Bitch Geese.

Here's some photos of what I've been doing and where I will be living for the next two years! Yeah!

This is from our Bulgarian Language Workbook and, yeah, if you look closely, you can see the naked stripper in the background. Anyone want to go to the disco?

We had some really fun games at our 4th of July Celebration - at one point, all of the kids said, "Happy Birthday, America" in English without us having to prompt them. It was pretty great.

We also had a water balloon toss, watermelon, a baseball, and fireworks. Of course. Success!

We also got to blow up Osama Bin Laden's face - Game Over, Osama!

My group and I right before we found out our permanent sites. Very exciting. Ain't we good lookin'?

We went clubbing in Vratsa which was really fun!

And then we all took pictures like this. Cuz we're dorks. Obviously, I'm wearing glasses.

This is the view from the city where I will be living for the next 2 years! Pretty, no?

So's this.

They've also found an apartment for me to live so I'm pretty excited about that! Life is stressful right now but I'm excited about the future! Though I'm going to really miss my satellite group. I'm so attached to those fools!

-Age