Today I sent my mom a text message saying, “I have some ideas for my stalking list: black hair rubber bands and new ear buds for my ipod," as my mom will be sending me a package full of Christmas goodies soon. I realized right before pushing “send” that I’d spelt it “stalking” instead of “stocking”. Oops. But, then I of course started to think about what would have been on my “stalking” list.
1) Binoculars (obviously)
2) Camouflage (or I could just make an outfit from those handy condoms PC gave us)
3) A new phone with an application that blocks my outgoing number
4) “How to Get a Restraining Order Appealed For Dummies” (it’s out there)
5) Snacks (stalking sometimes requires long hours with no lunch break – it takes real dedication)
I think that would make a nice starter kit, at least. Hmm, I can feel the entrepreneurial side of me responding to this idea, leave a comment below if you’d like to invest.
Also, tonight I went to the local children’s hospital to help my counterpart teach English to the students there. There are seven students, some with Down Syndrome, others with polio, and all super sweet and excited about English (what a nice change!). I plan on helping her out there a lot more in the future. There was a student with Down Syndrome who kept saying the word for “boobs” in Bulgarian while referencing mine and my counterparts. It was pretty hilarious and the other students couldn’t stop giggling…and neither could I. The word in Bulgarian, I now know, is similar to “Bambi” so I at first thought he was referencing the movie and was encouraging, saying things like, “Oh, Bambi, how nice. Do you like that movie?” My counterpart stopped me right there and corrected my mistake. Oops.
Also, our In-Service Training is starting soon and we’ll all be spending a few days together in Plovdiv! I’m very excited about this. My counterpart and I were asked to give a presentation on Team-Teaching that Monday about which I’m equal parts nervous and excited. We planned it out today and will be incorporating some videos we took of us teaching 2nd and 5th grades. We plan to end the presentation by showing our 5th grade boys making sexual gestures to the camera while we weren’t looking. It’s kinda hilarious. I’ll post that video on here soon – you’ll laugh, it can’t be helped.
But, before Plovdiv, I’ll be heading back up to the Vratsa area in order to celebrate Thanksgiving with some of my favorite volunteers. We’ll be cooking and eating traditional Thanksgiving meals (to the best of our ability) all day which just sounds heavenly. I can’t wait.
All in all, it’s gonna be a fun week! Happy Holidays!
-Age
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Outrageous? Really?
I’ve recently downloaded some fun dance songs from itunes and even created a playlist especially for them entitled “Dance,” appropriately. I’ve been shaking my thing all over my kitchen while doing the dishes, washing my clothes, “cooking” dinner, practicing my juggling skills with some recently purchased nectarines and really getting to know some of these songs pretty well. The thing is, not all of the songs I bought were new. Some were new, and I really enjoy them, particularly Rihanna’s stuff, but some of them are…older. Like Brittany Spears and Shakira. I’ve always loved both of these ladies and decided that some of my favorites should be a part of this new playlist. But, it seems, that during this particular trend in pop music history that lyrics were not the top priority when creating a hit. Though, in their defense, they were hits.
I’m talking about such biting lyrics as Brittany’s “Outrageous” in which “when I move my body” and “when I’m at a party” stand alone to create the rhyming chorus that’s repeated throughout the song. (Oh, and, by the way, both of those things are apparently outrageous which I feel Brit may be using a bit too liberally). She also uses the line “trench coat and my underwear” without context. Exactly where is she wearing a trench coat and underwear? Is it out and about town or is it just in her kitchen? Does she unbutton the trench coat so people can actually see that all she has underneath is underwear or is it simply a secret for her own amusement? Is it really outrageous? I mean, really?
And then there’s Shakira. I happen to know that Shakira graduated from UCLA (or USC, I can’t actually remember which but it’s one of those) and is probably a pretty clever girl. But her lyrics, come on! I was listening to “My Hips Don’t Lie” which isn’t a bad title, I like it. “Reading the signs of my body,” not bad, really. But the song is featuring Wyclef and he says, during the chorus, “Como se llama. Bonita. Mi casa. Su casa.” Um, this roughly translates to, “What’s your name? Pretty. My house. Your house.” Caveman speech but in Spanish so it’s deceptively smooth-sounding. The thing is, this is totally forgivable as Wyclef is not a native Spanish speaker and can therefore say these short, simple lines without too much judgment. But Shakira, who, being from Columbia (as the song also states), speaks Spanish fluently and responds to Wyclef’s stutterings with, “Oh, baby, when you talk like that, you make a woman go mad.” For reals? Mad? I dunno, Shakira, I’m gonna have to go ahead and disagree with on that one.
Now, there are songs like The Black-Eyed Peas “My Humps” which is a very silly song but it knows it’s silly. The band is aware of how ridiculous it is and has fun with it. I have to admit, I absolutely hated that song when I first heard it but it grew on me and when I realized that they were just being silly, as they’re apt to do, I enjoyed it even more. But some lyrics are downright unforgivable when you stop shakin’ it long enough to really pay attention. But, maybe that’s the point, we’re not supposed to stop shaking it. Just dance.
-Age
I’m talking about such biting lyrics as Brittany’s “Outrageous” in which “when I move my body” and “when I’m at a party” stand alone to create the rhyming chorus that’s repeated throughout the song. (Oh, and, by the way, both of those things are apparently outrageous which I feel Brit may be using a bit too liberally). She also uses the line “trench coat and my underwear” without context. Exactly where is she wearing a trench coat and underwear? Is it out and about town or is it just in her kitchen? Does she unbutton the trench coat so people can actually see that all she has underneath is underwear or is it simply a secret for her own amusement? Is it really outrageous? I mean, really?
And then there’s Shakira. I happen to know that Shakira graduated from UCLA (or USC, I can’t actually remember which but it’s one of those) and is probably a pretty clever girl. But her lyrics, come on! I was listening to “My Hips Don’t Lie” which isn’t a bad title, I like it. “Reading the signs of my body,” not bad, really. But the song is featuring Wyclef and he says, during the chorus, “Como se llama. Bonita. Mi casa. Su casa.” Um, this roughly translates to, “What’s your name? Pretty. My house. Your house.” Caveman speech but in Spanish so it’s deceptively smooth-sounding. The thing is, this is totally forgivable as Wyclef is not a native Spanish speaker and can therefore say these short, simple lines without too much judgment. But Shakira, who, being from Columbia (as the song also states), speaks Spanish fluently and responds to Wyclef’s stutterings with, “Oh, baby, when you talk like that, you make a woman go mad.” For reals? Mad? I dunno, Shakira, I’m gonna have to go ahead and disagree with on that one.
Now, there are songs like The Black-Eyed Peas “My Humps” which is a very silly song but it knows it’s silly. The band is aware of how ridiculous it is and has fun with it. I have to admit, I absolutely hated that song when I first heard it but it grew on me and when I realized that they were just being silly, as they’re apt to do, I enjoyed it even more. But some lyrics are downright unforgivable when you stop shakin’ it long enough to really pay attention. But, maybe that’s the point, we’re not supposed to stop shaking it. Just dance.
-Age
Monday, November 15, 2010
Don't Tell Me What To Do! OK, Tell Me.
I’ve always considered myself to be independent but I’ve never really considered myself to be much of a leader. And I’m OK with this. Some people lead, others follow. I’m good at helping. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. No problem. So, being here in Bulgaria, in my own village is forcing me to consider myself in a new light and to embrace the leader in me that apparently must have always existed but never felt the need to make herself known as necessity had never required her skills. I have to step up, create ideas, encourage others to join in, and execute them…by myself. It’s slow-going right now but I see potential for the future. I may even come out of this whole Peace Corps experience a bit bossy. Yeah, that’s right, bossy.
Though the one aspect of my “followingness” that will be ever present is my tendency to literally follow others. I never know where I’m going or how to get there, I simply trust that those around me do and I blindly put all my faith in them and hope to arrive at my destination in a timely manner. And, most of the time, that’s exactly what happens. Some people thrive on being spatially aware and good with directions. I don’t. I’ve been to the post office in my village at least five times and I still hesitate when I’m walking down the street, “Now, is it this way or did I go too far? Crap. Did I just pass it? Oh, wait, no there it is, in the same spot it’s been for 50 years.” It’s silly.
Unfortunately, when I happen to be with someone who is also this way, getting lost and/or walking or driving entirely too far for no good reason, is inevitable. My friend, Katelyn, from my PST group is similar to me in this way. We went to Sofia and knew that we needed to be on the lookout for a certain street in order to eat at a Thai restaurant that she was really looking forward to. We walked for about a mile or so, chatting and walking, walking and chatting, and, before we knew it, we hit a dead-end. We weren’t looking for a street, we were too busy walking and chatting. We had to backtrack, call friends, ask people on the street. It was ridiculous. Honestly, if it wasn’t for that dead-end, we’d probably still be walking. I think we were heading North and it was about 2 months ago so I’m guessing we’d be in the Ukraine which I hear is lovely this time of year.
Anyway, forcing myself to become a leader is going to be a bit challenging I’m sure but I have a lot of great examples in my fellow volunteers and once I put some plans into action and see them turn into something, I’ll feel more encouraged. Plus, I have friends from back home recommending (and sending me cuz they’re awesome) all kinds of great books about teaching and leadership. I plan to educate myself like a true teacher would. Bring it on, Bulgaria!
-Age
Though the one aspect of my “followingness” that will be ever present is my tendency to literally follow others. I never know where I’m going or how to get there, I simply trust that those around me do and I blindly put all my faith in them and hope to arrive at my destination in a timely manner. And, most of the time, that’s exactly what happens. Some people thrive on being spatially aware and good with directions. I don’t. I’ve been to the post office in my village at least five times and I still hesitate when I’m walking down the street, “Now, is it this way or did I go too far? Crap. Did I just pass it? Oh, wait, no there it is, in the same spot it’s been for 50 years.” It’s silly.
Unfortunately, when I happen to be with someone who is also this way, getting lost and/or walking or driving entirely too far for no good reason, is inevitable. My friend, Katelyn, from my PST group is similar to me in this way. We went to Sofia and knew that we needed to be on the lookout for a certain street in order to eat at a Thai restaurant that she was really looking forward to. We walked for about a mile or so, chatting and walking, walking and chatting, and, before we knew it, we hit a dead-end. We weren’t looking for a street, we were too busy walking and chatting. We had to backtrack, call friends, ask people on the street. It was ridiculous. Honestly, if it wasn’t for that dead-end, we’d probably still be walking. I think we were heading North and it was about 2 months ago so I’m guessing we’d be in the Ukraine which I hear is lovely this time of year.
Anyway, forcing myself to become a leader is going to be a bit challenging I’m sure but I have a lot of great examples in my fellow volunteers and once I put some plans into action and see them turn into something, I’ll feel more encouraged. Plus, I have friends from back home recommending (and sending me cuz they’re awesome) all kinds of great books about teaching and leadership. I plan to educate myself like a true teacher would. Bring it on, Bulgaria!
-Age
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Halloween (a little late)
I had a really great Halloween weekend. It started out with the Halloween Fair my counterpart and I planned for our kids that was a great success and it ended with a really fun party in Veliko Turnovo with other volunteers and a hilarious day exploring castles and learning what it really means to swear like a sailor. Here are some pictures from our school fair (my camera was not working during the party so no photos of Slutty Cheese, unfortunately).
An amazing poster made by my 5th grade girls
Sister, aren't they adorable!
The 3rd graders gave a short presentation on Halloween
Mummy-wrapping contest!
Every boy in the room wanted to be a pirate
I had no idea bobbing for apples was gonna be such a big hit!
She was so persistent - what a trooper! My kinda girl!
This picture cracks me up for some reason.
And so went Halloween. Definitely to be repeated next year!
-Age
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Conundrum
So, I was talking to a guy friend of mine last night that recently met a girl he’s interested in and he wanted to know how many times he’d have to call her and create a phone rapport before he could ask her on a face-to-face date. He was hoping to get in two calls and then ask her if he could see her this weekend. I responded with,
“I dunno.”
“Is that enough time or should I wait til the following weekend? Should I call her more than twice before making a date? What do you think?”
“Um…Yeah, I don’t know. Sorry. But I’m gonna go ahead and go with yes, that’s enough and you should go for it!”
“You think so?!”
“Ummmmm….”
He then went on to explain how much work is involved in starting a relationship with a girl. I said,
“Should it feel like work? I mean, when you like a girl, shouldn’t the thought of talking to her and seeing her be fun and exciting, not work?”
“It is fun and exciting, but it’s also work. At least in the beginning. At least for the guy.”
I told him I didn’t think it was fair that the guy gets to be the one that dictates how and when a relationship begins. We have to wait for the guy to call and the guy to make the move. I told him that girls just have to idly wait around and follow the “rules.”
But then I decided that having to call someone up and start a conversation/relationship when you aren’t sure of their feelings for you sounds absolutely terrifying and that I don’t thinks it’s unfair at all now that I’ve quieted the overly-feminist side of my brain and thought it through completely. He’s right, that sounds like a lot of work.
However, it did remind me of a conversation I had with one of my girlfriends from back home. She had been dating this great guy for a little over a year and hoping for a proposal. They discussed marriage and how they would create a life together but he wanted to wait until everything was “just right” before popping the question. I said,
“Does it seem fair to you that it’s up to him when you become engaged? You’re ready now but you have to wait for him to ask you? He knows that you’ll say ‘yes,’ but you still have to wait?”
“Hey…yeah…you’re right! That’s totally unfair. Why should I have to wait?”
She wasn’t silly enough to bring this up to him (thank goodness) and it wasn’t my intention to make her feel like she was being mistreated in any way. I was simply curious as to how she felt about it. These rules of conduct between men and women seem silly to me sometimes but, like most things, I suppose some sort of structure is necessary and this is the structure our society has chosen. Maybe women really are too emotional to handle the type of “work” and responsibility that goes into beginning a relationship or taking that relationship to the next level. Maybe the fact that men are “level-headed” is what makes them perfect for the job.
Or maybe it’s all total crap. Who knows?
Plus, the great mystery in life for most men is the question of “what women want.” It’s been asked a million times and more often than not men resign themselves to the fact that they will simply never know. That a women’s mind is unfathomable. That if someone attempted to explain, it would still be beyond them to comprehend so why bother trying. Though, at the same time, some men are relentless, to no avail.
What men don’t realize (though the movie PS I Love You would have cleared it up for them in a jiffy if they’d simply embrace the occasional chick-flick) is that women have no idea what they want. Of course we don’t, we’re like kids with ADHD. Too many rules and choices and doubts, insecurities and media-engrained ideas of what we should want. Do we listen to our hearts or our heads? Both? We don’t know. It’s not a mystery, it’s a never ending conundrum. Oh man, I really don’t get to use that word enough.
Anyway, my advice to my friend really could go either way. It could work out perfectly and their meeting this weekend could end in wedding bells and bliss…eventually. Or she could feel too much pressure and tell him, “No, thanks, I’m busy this weekend.” It all depends on the girl and what she wants, or what she thinks she wants, at that particular moment. Oh, and the Bulgarian public transportation system which is unreliable to say the least – though when has a train ever been known to stop true love?
Maybe I’m not being fair to women, and I’m making them seem far too fickle. In fact, I’m sure I am but we’re all victims of our whims and the same is true for romance. Despite how that sounds, I wish him the best of luck! Cuz that’s what it all comes down to, after all.
I’m not even sure I believe anything I just wrote. See, conundrum.(twice in one post!)
-Age
“I dunno.”
“Is that enough time or should I wait til the following weekend? Should I call her more than twice before making a date? What do you think?”
“Um…Yeah, I don’t know. Sorry. But I’m gonna go ahead and go with yes, that’s enough and you should go for it!”
“You think so?!”
“Ummmmm….”
He then went on to explain how much work is involved in starting a relationship with a girl. I said,
“Should it feel like work? I mean, when you like a girl, shouldn’t the thought of talking to her and seeing her be fun and exciting, not work?”
“It is fun and exciting, but it’s also work. At least in the beginning. At least for the guy.”
I told him I didn’t think it was fair that the guy gets to be the one that dictates how and when a relationship begins. We have to wait for the guy to call and the guy to make the move. I told him that girls just have to idly wait around and follow the “rules.”
But then I decided that having to call someone up and start a conversation/relationship when you aren’t sure of their feelings for you sounds absolutely terrifying and that I don’t thinks it’s unfair at all now that I’ve quieted the overly-feminist side of my brain and thought it through completely. He’s right, that sounds like a lot of work.
However, it did remind me of a conversation I had with one of my girlfriends from back home. She had been dating this great guy for a little over a year and hoping for a proposal. They discussed marriage and how they would create a life together but he wanted to wait until everything was “just right” before popping the question. I said,
“Does it seem fair to you that it’s up to him when you become engaged? You’re ready now but you have to wait for him to ask you? He knows that you’ll say ‘yes,’ but you still have to wait?”
“Hey…yeah…you’re right! That’s totally unfair. Why should I have to wait?”
She wasn’t silly enough to bring this up to him (thank goodness) and it wasn’t my intention to make her feel like she was being mistreated in any way. I was simply curious as to how she felt about it. These rules of conduct between men and women seem silly to me sometimes but, like most things, I suppose some sort of structure is necessary and this is the structure our society has chosen. Maybe women really are too emotional to handle the type of “work” and responsibility that goes into beginning a relationship or taking that relationship to the next level. Maybe the fact that men are “level-headed” is what makes them perfect for the job.
Or maybe it’s all total crap. Who knows?
Plus, the great mystery in life for most men is the question of “what women want.” It’s been asked a million times and more often than not men resign themselves to the fact that they will simply never know. That a women’s mind is unfathomable. That if someone attempted to explain, it would still be beyond them to comprehend so why bother trying. Though, at the same time, some men are relentless, to no avail.
What men don’t realize (though the movie PS I Love You would have cleared it up for them in a jiffy if they’d simply embrace the occasional chick-flick) is that women have no idea what they want. Of course we don’t, we’re like kids with ADHD. Too many rules and choices and doubts, insecurities and media-engrained ideas of what we should want. Do we listen to our hearts or our heads? Both? We don’t know. It’s not a mystery, it’s a never ending conundrum. Oh man, I really don’t get to use that word enough.
Anyway, my advice to my friend really could go either way. It could work out perfectly and their meeting this weekend could end in wedding bells and bliss…eventually. Or she could feel too much pressure and tell him, “No, thanks, I’m busy this weekend.” It all depends on the girl and what she wants, or what she thinks she wants, at that particular moment. Oh, and the Bulgarian public transportation system which is unreliable to say the least – though when has a train ever been known to stop true love?
Maybe I’m not being fair to women, and I’m making them seem far too fickle. In fact, I’m sure I am but we’re all victims of our whims and the same is true for romance. Despite how that sounds, I wish him the best of luck! Cuz that’s what it all comes down to, after all.
I’m not even sure I believe anything I just wrote. See, conundrum.(twice in one post!)
-Age
Sunday, November 7, 2010
I Just Burned 37 Calories
There’s a dog outside my window, across the street, tied to a make-shift dog house. I think he’s meant to be ferocious but secretly wags his tail a lot and jumps around like a puppy when he thinks no one’s looking. There’s another dog on the other side of a very old brick storage shack that is also tied up. Sometimes, one of them will jump up onto the windowsill outside the shack while the other does the same on his side and they’ll communicate secret messages to each other. Or they just talk about the weather. Who knows? Dogs are wiley like that. However, this is the extent of their interaction except at meal times when the owners come to refill their food buckets.
I want to go pet this poor dog and tell him I love him but, truth be told, I’m kinda scared of him. His growl is probably bigger than his bite but I’m not gonna be the one to test that theory. Maybe if I bring it some food and slowly earn my way into its good graces? His owners probably wouldn’t like that very much. I think the dog’s meant to guard their…pile of wood? Old clothes hanging on the line? Not really sure but I think they want him ferocious as opposed to friendly.
That’s one of the things you’ll notice here in Bulgaria, there are dogs everywhere. And many of them are not pets, or guard dogs, or tied up to…anything. They are just wandering around, sometimes in packs, scaring the bejeezes out of any unsuspecting Americans. When I first got to my permanent site, I would jog a few days a week (mostly to get rid of the weight my host family put on me with ridiculous amounts of fried food and bread). I had a nice route that took me through the park and past the little white church near my apartment. Then a giant dog starting barking and running after me like it wanted to eat me for lunch and I was only saved cuz some man yelled at him (thank God the dog knew Bulgarian) and stopped chasing but did not stop growling or barking. I managed to make it home before collapsing in a heap of nerves on my bed and thinking, “Never again. I’m never running outside again.”. And I haven’t, I only walk now. And that’s the way it’s gonna stay.
The amount of stray dogs is a real problem and I just wonder how these poor things make it through a snowy winter. Maybe they don’t. I almost took a puppy home once. It was wandering around the park, very little, totally cute, and chasing after my heals in that adorable way puppies do, tripping over his paws and making me want to squeeze the fleas right off him. But I didn’t. I left him in the park. I don’t think my landlord would be too keen on me keeping a dog in my apartment which is barely big enough for me. Sigh.
I didn’t write this cuz I have a solution. I just wanted to acknowledge the problem. There are lots of stray dogs here. And the one across the street is mean but I feel like we could be best friends if he didn’t have teeth. Also, I need to find another way to exercise cuz typing only burns 105 calories an hour (I googled it).
Tomorrow the internet guys are coming after 5 weeks of having to steal my neighbor’s super unreliable internet so hopefully I’ll be able to post Halloween pictures soon (it’s so frustrating when you steal things and they turn out not to work properly, but the world is an imperfect place).
-Age
Friday, November 5, 2010
I Feel Like Al Qaida Would Like Me If They Got to Know Me
I believe that Christians make some of the best hypocrites. Believing in one way of life and yet living another. Telling people to do “this” while they do “that”. Encouraging a non-judgmental attitude while judging people that don’t. Christians often give Christianity a bad name (despite the fact that the only name that should matter in terms of Christianity is Jesus) and it’s because we’re not perfect. Yes, I said “we”. I’m a Christian. Surprised? Gosh, I hope not but I wouldn’t be shocked if you were.
The thing is, if Christians were perfect, we wouldn’t need God. It’s our imperfections, our struggles with the world and its temptations that draw us to God. He is full of life and true meaning, His perfection gives us hope despite that lack of ours. He pulls us in because He is “gentle and humble in heart,” something you wouldn’t expect from the God of the Universe, at least I didn’t until I was awed by this verse.
Christians are supposed to love all without prejudice, condition, or judgment yet they are often one of the most judged group of people themselves. Because of the Bible and its Golden Rules, abstinences, grace, humbleness, godliness, holiness, kindness, wisdom, etc. it makes a very difficult model to live up to. And people are watching. Oh, are they watching. Ready to pounce on the Christian that just couldn’t cut it and fell flat on her face. It’s not easy.
I find myself keeping my Christianity, not a secret, but close to it. I’m defensive about it. Because I feel that the second someone knows, I’ll be under scrutiny. And I should not be scrutinized as a representative of Christ. By no means. I’m far too flawed and full of really silly life decisions to represent someone who’s fully capable of representing Himself. However, I wish that wasn’t the case. I wish I could walk proudly in my faith. Talk about it more and not feel that my lack of good choices makes me unqualified to be what I am: A believer in Christ and His message.
I also find myself avoiding certain topics of conversation. Even now, I’m don’t want to bring up the specific types of conversations because there are things about myself I’m not comfortable revealing. Though I should be. It’s too difficult to be a conservative Christian in this modern society. It makes me abnormal, old-fashioned, and strange.
Though, at the same time, I don’t think all my ideas are conservative in nature. I think homosexual marriage should be accepted and allowed without the Christian community condemning it because it’s…what? I don’t know what their issue is. Love is love. And it’s not as though procreation is an issue anymore. Many gay couples adopt children that would have otherwise been without a home. I could go on and on.
Which is another thing: I hesitate to write about the good, Christianity-based decisions I’ve made in life but I can write about my modern, socially-acceptable beliefs without hesitation. That’s not good. I need a self over-haul. I need to figure out exactly what it is I believe and be that person. Despite who likes it and who doesn’t.
I feel like Pam Beasley from The Office when she talks about how she doesn’t like it when people don’t like her, “I don’t even like knowing that Al Qaida doesn’t like me. You know what? I feel like, if they got to know me, they would like me.” I’m the same way! I think Pam and I would be really good friends if she were real.
Sigh. Another tangent. I think I just like to put this stuff out into the world so it’s extended further than my crowded mind. So it’s acknowledged. Plus, you guys are always super sweet whenever I berate myself like this. So maybe I’m just looking for a pat on the back and a “it’s cool, Adrienne, you’ll be fine. Just stop being so whiny and self-reflective.” Thanks, guys. Will do.
-Age
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