I’ve read a few things recently in the blog world that I take issue with. The first being an apparently Freudian belief that the way a woman treats her purse is also the way she treats her vagina. Does she keep it close to her and remain protective over it at all times or does she just leave it open for anyone to peruse? These were the analogies given and I just have to completely disagree. Am I the first to disagree with Freud? Something tells me I’m not.
I am known among my friends and relatives as being the “loser and leaver of my purse.” That may not seem like the coolest title and if it wasn’t so late right now I probably could have come up with something better but it gets the point across. I leave my purse everywhere. My friends actually made it their responsibility at one point in time to make sure that my purse made it to each destination during our travels together. And still, it was left. At Coldstone. At the mall. In the parking lot of the Carl’s Jr.’s in Redlands. You name a place and I’ve probably left my purse there.
But I’ve never left my vagina anywhere unattended. Not once. I always take that thing with me. There has never been a moment where I’ve said, “Aw, crap. I left my vagina in the shoe rack at Sears!” Not once. So take that, Freud.
Another interesting bit of writing I’ve recently come across on the web involved a man who said that because he has a difficult time falling asleep at night, a tough time “quieting his brain,” that his mind is actually weak. Those who’ve mastered the art of meditation and can quickly and easily quiet their minds, fall asleep within the national average of 7 minutes, have strong minds. Um, what! It takes me at least 30 minutes to fall asleep and there are nights when I never actually feel that I’ve completely drifted, waking up exhausted and angry because my brain just couldn’t let go of the day. But I never thought this meant that I had a weak mind. I’ve since decided to take up Yoga and get in touch with my chi or feng shui* or whatever. I’ll probably stay up all night in anticipation.
And lastly, I’ve decided that what the world is lacking most, what there just seems to be too little information on, too little research and inquiry of, is flip flops and their significance in this world. I plan on fixing that. I’ve got a pretty nice flip flop tan line to start me off and figure my next step will involve buying a new white pair since I left mine in Blagoevgrad. Now, if there was a theory regarding how women treat their flip flops and their vaginas, well, I’d have trouble disputing something so logically sound.
*Yes, I had to google that for spelling
-Age
Not sure if my comment went through, but please don't be offended by my freud/purse comment!!
ReplyDeletejust repeating a conversation that came up and using it to draw a parellel. that was all, promise!
Oh, I know - I was just feeding off of your post to make one of my own, kinda like cheating. I just thought the analogy was funny - I know you weren't trying to call me a whore ;)
ReplyDeleteim glad that your vagina and your purse are nothing alike... i couldnt handle the fact that you may or may not have money all strune about your vagina!!! i love you age!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA! Oh, Colleen. Just to let you know, I also don't treat my vagina the way I used to treat your gel-pens, leaving the caps off for long periods of time, constantly testing the boundaries of their ability to stay nice and gelly - I have more respect for my vagina than that.
ReplyDeleteI hate this blog and I'm never going to read it again.
ReplyDeleteWhat in the h-word, yo? I feel further explanation is needed here, Steven. I'm the type of girl that secretly needs to be liked by all. Are you opposed to the hippieness of it cuz if flip flops are as hippie as I get, I'm pretty sure you're safe. Or are you a staunch Freud fan? I wouldn't have thought but I hear it's a real, underground phenomenon. Sigh. I'll try to refrain from whatever it is you found offensive as long as you keep liking me and reading my blog. I don't have to be liked. I want to be liked, I need to be liked, but it's not an all-encompassing, obsessive thing, not like my need to be praised.
ReplyDeleteI love this blog, I stumbled across it looking for flip flops and it has made me smile several times. Steven needs more er purse action in order to relax a little.
ReplyDelete