"The Thinner the Moustache, The Bigger the Douchebag"

I recently went to the capital with a friend to watch a movie and indulge in some delicious Mexican food. We decided on Captain America for the movie (and burritos for the Mexican) because there was nothing better and who doesn't love a good comic-book-based movie every now and again, right? The movie was alright but it was the previews that got me thinking. Thinking about a particular movie theme that I find rather funny.

It was a preview for The Three Musketeers (I won't even tell you how excited I am for this movie - I LOVE that kinda crap) and Orlando Bloom was in it...but not as a Musketeer like you might think. No, he was clearly not a good guy. He was a bad guy.

Oh, yeah. A dirty, stinkin' little bad guy that just pisses everyone off the whole movie but is totally essential to the plot because, without him, how would we know that the good guys are good, huh? We wouldn't. They would just be dudes. Dudes with swords and witty banter. Which is all well and good but hardly what I would call an action flick.

Anyway, I'm off topic. I could tell that Orlando was playing a diabolical villain. You know how I knew?

One word: moustache

Now, this was a Musketeer movie, which means that a lot of the characters had moustaches. They were apparently all the rage during this particular time in history but this movie is not the only example of this particular film phenomenom. No.

Guy Who Likes to Tie Girls to Train Tracks:

Hitler:

This guy:

and this guy:

grossest one

him:

I'll admit his moustache may be the least evil-looking thing about him

we all remember this ace-hole:

Snape:



and even the dude who assassinated Lincoln:

 

So, clearly, the moustaches have spoken. All you need is an appropriately thin, evil one of these bad boys and it's clear that you are up to no good. This, my friends, is how I knew Orlando Bloom will be playing a bad guy in what's sure to be an action-packed thriller.

clearly he's a huge douchecanoe

-Age