The Impression of Democracy

My friend Evan and I have spent some serious time discussing what we plan to do after we leave the Peace Corps. There are many options and we weighed them all with the wisdom of our combined experience. We could take advantage of the one year of non-competitive job eligibility within the government, we could enroll in one of the many graduate schools PC has partnered with, or we could extend our service and stay in Bulgaria for another year. Though these all seemed like interesting and beneficial options we ultimately decided on world domination, the obvious choice.

We quickly decided that dictatorship is a tricky business. It’s been done before and seriously out of style so if we were going to do it right for the first time in world history we would need to vamp it up a bit. Go at it from a new angle. Which is why we decided to campaign. And, yes, we’re well aware of the irony. After some brainstorming we chose the campaign slogan:

Evan and Adrienne

World Leaders

or

Rulers of the World

(official title pending)

“The Impression of Democracy”

(This regal walrus will be our mascot)

It gave just the effect we were hoping for: implied fairness. Though, we totally plan on being absolutely fair. I mean, we are Peace Corps volunteers after all. We’ve decided that we will use the mistakes of past dictators as a platform for our dictatorship; we won’t make the same mistakes. The world will be awesome because of us, we’re super good at problem solving.

Here are some examples of our future campaign ideas:

“Evan and Adrienne: Making the world a better place one non-disputable decision at a time.”


“We’re painting the White House blue because we’re not racist or sexist!”


“Dictatorship is such an ugly word. Feel free to never call us that or we’ll chop off your head. Kisses – Evan and Adrienne, World Leaders 2012.”


“Hitler: What a douche. Vote for us! (voting is purely arbitrary but in a completely non-condescending way)”


“Stalin was a buttface. Our faces look nothing like butts. Vote for us! (voting is purely arbitrary but comes with a free cookie upon ballot completion)”


“First order of business: Solving World Hunger. Cuz we really feel like Marie Antoinette was onto something.”

Those are just a small taste of the awesomeness that is to come. We’ll continue strategizing. Right now we plan to coordinate with Ludacris, Science, and the lady who wrote the Twilight books cuz all of those things worked out pretty well. They’ll be like consultants (cuz consultants sounds better than royal advisors – though we’re totally gonna have jesters cuz, I mean, who wouldn’t?)

That’s all for now but I would advise all to be super nice to us cuz, who knows, there may be a country in it for ya!

-Age, Co-World Leader 2012