Birds, Pots, and Stones

“Kill two birds with one stone.” Curious expression. Killing birds with stones, it seems so prehistoric. Not to mention, was there a time in history when there was a shortage of stones a surplus of birds and this was actually necessary? What about “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush?” Have you ever actually held a bird in your hand? They don’t like it. They will bite you. I say, leave ‘em in the dang bush! They obviously like the bush. They have friends in the bush. Should I stop talking about bushes? And what’s with the obsession with bird metaphors anyway?



What about “a watched pot never boils?” Untrue! It does! Try it.



I also have issue with the whole “glass half full” expression. I don’t think it’s a matter of how full or how empty a glass is, I think it comes down to what’s in this glass that counts. For instance, I wouldn’t consider myself or anyone else a pessimist for expecting more than half a glass of beer. In fact, if a friend said that a glass of Stella was half full as opposed to filling that sucker up to the brim we would no longer be friends. I’m that serious. I may not be bright and sunny and full of naïve optimism, but I do have a full glass of Stella every time so…bite me Expression Maker-Uppers!



I apologize for getting carried away. I just wish there were more applicable expressions for my life out there. Ones I might actually use like…a meal in a paper bag is worth two in the oven or…get two free drinks with one smile or…a watched brownie never lasts. Those make sense to me. They also make me seem like a 300 pound Sumo Wrestler. I actually feel that a 300 pound Sumo Wrestler and I may have a lot in common so don’t judge.



Despite appearances, I mean this to encourage. We should create our own rules and expressions and dictate our life in a way that makes sense for us. In this current economic state it may seem as though we have control over little in our lives. Everything seems to be dictated by supply and demand. We begin to focus on what we lack and how we are being held back as opposed to being thankful for what we have and noticing all the areas of our lives that are ours and cannot be taken from us. Remember what’s real, what’s important, and what is yours.



“A friend who helps in a time of need is a friend, indeed.”



“Family is forever.”



“Love is all you need.”



“In God We Trust.”

-Age