Unless of course you do understand the acronyms, in which case you can wield them like a medieval weapon, using the acronyms to show others that you’re special enough to know what a PCV(ching!) is and how three months of PST(swoosh!) was so challenging and the upcoming IST(clang!) is going to be informative and exciting unless we don’t make it and choose to COS(stab!) early. Our opponents had no chance. Our acronymic sword was too powerful.
I always feel uneasy when entering a new situation in which acronyms are present. I feel the dread of having to memorize their meanings and the looks on the faces of those skilled in the art of acronyms as I misuse them and have to say,
“You know, the thing that gives us money so we don’t have to go inside.”
“Oh, you mean the ATM?”
“Yes, the Awesome Transaction Machine! Exactly!”
The use of acronyms really is the fastest way to feel superior.
When talking to friends and family we catch ourselves using the acronyms we have become so used to and having to backtrack and say the full phrase which really is so cumbersome. In fact, all speech should just be one big stream of acronyms. Oh, I guess that’s like texting. No, never mind. Best to keep it exclusive.
I’ve also learned that being the one to create the acronyms is very special as well. Not everyone is capable. It takes a special skill and a serious grasp of the alphabet. I once tried to create an acronym. It involved vodka, tequila, and various fruit flavorings that disguised the taste of alcohol and made drinking numerous pink, tasty beverages out of big red cups as simple as falling on the floor. The acronym was JSB. Just drink beer. Though it was not apparent to me at the time, that was wrong. Didn’t stop me from saying it all night. And again the next morning.
Acronyms can be a tricky business. But if you’re lucky enough to be one of the few who gets to create and spread the use of one of these powerful little beasts, I stand in awe. But, before you use its power for evil, ask yourself this: WWJD?
-Age
I always feel uneasy when entering a new situation in which acronyms are present. I feel the dread of having to memorize their meanings and the looks on the faces of those skilled in the art of acronyms as I misuse them and have to say,
“You know, the thing that gives us money so we don’t have to go inside.”
“Oh, you mean the ATM?”
“Yes, the Awesome Transaction Machine! Exactly!”
The use of acronyms really is the fastest way to feel superior.
When talking to friends and family we catch ourselves using the acronyms we have become so used to and having to backtrack and say the full phrase which really is so cumbersome. In fact, all speech should just be one big stream of acronyms. Oh, I guess that’s like texting. No, never mind. Best to keep it exclusive.
I’ve also learned that being the one to create the acronyms is very special as well. Not everyone is capable. It takes a special skill and a serious grasp of the alphabet. I once tried to create an acronym. It involved vodka, tequila, and various fruit flavorings that disguised the taste of alcohol and made drinking numerous pink, tasty beverages out of big red cups as simple as falling on the floor. The acronym was JSB. Just drink beer. Though it was not apparent to me at the time, that was wrong. Didn’t stop me from saying it all night. And again the next morning.
Acronyms can be a tricky business. But if you’re lucky enough to be one of the few who gets to create and spread the use of one of these powerful little beasts, I stand in awe. But, before you use its power for evil, ask yourself this: WWJD?
-Age
