Chairs are Tricky Sometimes

Conversation I may or may not have just had with a friend over skype:

(I go to sit down, miss, and fall flat on my ass)

(She laughs)

(I get mad at the chair)

Me: Damn chair!

Her: Yeah, chairs can be tricky sometimes. Tricky little bastards, those chairs.

        Does it want me to sit on it or not?
       
        Does it have four legs or only three?

        Does it have armrests or no armrests?

        Is there proper back support?

        Do I cross my legs are wrap them around my head?

        Sitting is super tricky when chairs are gettin' all outta line like that. You should punish that chair immediately for confusing you and making you fall. I suggest a time-out in the corner and you sit in another chair for the rest of the day. That'll show 'im.

Me: Shut up, please.

Her: Absolutely. But, real quick, let me just tell you what I do with my couch when it starts getting a little attitude...

Me: *sigh*

-Age