Men are Apparently for Keeping Warm and Other Fantasies

It’s been a bit strange for me here lately. First off, I’ve been told quite a lot recently how necessary it is that I find a man as soon as possible.

The first attack was from my friend, Marietta, who, point-blank, told me, “You’re almost twenty-seven. You need to get married and have babies.”

Um. Wow.

Then, our local policeman, Vladi, told me that I need a boyfriend. He offered to post a big sign along our main road saying, “Local American accepting applications. Pictures and CV must be included. Interviews to follow upon selection.” He offered to be one of my judges. I accepted his offer, saying I trusted his judgment explicitly. But really it’s because he can put me in jail.

He then asked me a series of questions:

“Do you smoke?”

No.

“Do you drink alcohol?”

No.

“Do you have a boyfriend here in Bulgaria or in America?”

No.

“OK. You don’t smoke. You don’t drink. You don’t have a man…what do you do?”

Ummmm…

Then, today, three of my co-workers asked me what I look for in a man. I won’t tell you the fuss they put up when I quoted the tall, dark, and handsome phrase we often use in America. But, after we discussed the few other adjectives I know in Bulgarian: smart, funny, nice, blah, blah, blah, they said that I should be on the look-out. “No, seriously. You need to look. If you find him, grab him. Seriously.”

OK.

Even my principal, my boss, told me it was necessary to have a man if for nothing more than to keep me warm in the winter.

“I have blankets. And a heater!”

“Men are better.”

I really enjoyed each conversation immensely.

Another reason the past few weeks have been strange relates to my lack of contact with other PCV’s. I usually see someone at least every other weekend. But, it’s been awhile. Two weekends. At home. Doing…not a whole lot. I’ve been bored and lacking in the silly, American antics that allow me a sense of release.

I’m pretty sure this is why I’ve been having wild daydreams and fantasies lately.

Nothing scandalous. Nothing related to the topic above. My fantasies have more to do with being a huge rock star or world-renown author or something like that. I mean just the wildest, detailed fantasies. I have to shake myself out of these sometimes, laugh at myself, and go back to work. It’s silly. I think I’m just absolutely bored out of my mind. I need to do something fun. Soon.

Also, the weather has been AMAZING! It’s sunny and warm and beautiful. I have to admit, it greatly effects my mood – I’ve been quite cheerful despite the boredom. Apparently this is very unusual for Bulgaria and it will most likely change soon, just like THAT. Cuz that’s how it is in Bulgaria. No warning, just extreme changes in weather that make you catch you breath and say, “Aw, crap, it’s snowing again.” I keep telling myself that I’m half-way through winter. Six more weeks and we’ll be past it and I no longer have to fear the impending doom that is below-zero temperatures.

Anyway, that’s all that’s going on with me.

-Age